If you thought some of your gifts were bad, be thankful you never received any of these crazy Christmas gifts
Everyone has a holiday horror story where someone gave a gift that wasn’t quite right. Read on for some of the more interesting holiday gifts you’ve ever had the pleasure of not giving. Here are a few more funny jokes to get through Covid-19 marked holidays.
“Not sold in stores!”
“One of my relatives is known for giving horrible gifts, and the year I was 16 I got a plain fleece blanket—the type that rolls up for easy transport. Clearly, I wasn’t thrilled, so I tried to return it. Well, that failed when customer service told me the blanket hadn’t been sold in stores… for three years!” –Alyssa Jung.
“Cousin Nancy, you shouldn’t have
“Every Christmas, cousin Nancy sends a box of holiday surprises: rice pasta (I am gluten intolerant), bars of Ivory soap, or perhaps Trail Mix. But this trout tie? Yes, Nancy remembered that I love to fish, but it’s as ugly as sin. I haven’t had the nerve to wear it for 15 years, yet I put it on now so you don’t think I’m making the story up.” –Fran Lostys.
When a joke goes way too far
“My ex-boyfriend used to call me ‘Larry’ as a joke instead of ‘Perri.’ For the holidays one year, he gave me a Tiffany’s robin’s-egg blue box. Exciting! Inside, I found a beautiful, initial necklace…but an ‘L,’ for Larry. I tried wearing it, but it was too hard to explain why the pricey jewelry had the wrong letter. To this day, I’m still in search of a best friend whose name starts with an L so I can pass it along.” –Perri O. Blumberg.
Sounds like a cheap date
“A book titled 101 Wines Under $5.” —Cindy M., Greensburg, Pennsylvania. These are the wine terms you should know by now.
Not sure what message this is sending
“I once received a toilet seat.” —Julie K., Shellsburg, Iowa. Maybe some funny Christmas jokes would have gotten a better laugh.
At least they’re useful
“A bag of cotton balls.” —Claudia A., Columbia Falls, Montana. Perhaps these gifts that won’t cause clutter would have been more appropriate.
We’re all about body positivity but…
“A turquoise man-kini. I am 60 years old and weigh 250 pounds.” —Erich P., Phoenix, Arizona. Here is the ultimate gift guide for everyone on your list.